fuck everything, yeah

i’ve never been loved like that.

i’ve never been looked at like somebody cares about me the way i care about them.

ain’t that fucking miserable?

my veins look like you sometimes, i swear.

and when i look in the mirror i can still pretend that you’re there

but you won’t be.

someone told me that being so close to someone that you can feel their heartbeat is warm like fire

i’ve spent the last weekend of my life in the snow, and i still haven’t felt cold.

mind you, i’ve never felt very warm either.

mind you, the sanguine of your stupid fucking lips still haunts me like an hourglass,

sand trickling down the moments until our inevitable moment,
until we can look up at one another, and raise our glass,

and at the top of our lungs scream:




“cheers”




because the ocean is a giant, and he’s sleeping, waiting,

the universal clockmaker, still winding his own gears and waiting,

and waiting

and listening, still.

we are between the bolts in his face,

we are the glint of light reflected in his eyes,

we are what holds him together, even if he holds us above the fire.

and oh my god, what does it mean to be in love?

i hear that love lasts forever.

that’s bullshit. it lasts until it dies.

because everything dies sometime.

only not us.